Sex Toys

What is a sex toy?

A sex toy is an object designed for pleasure. Some vibrate or use suction, others are inserted into the vagina or anus, and others wrap around the penis or fit at its base. You can use them externally or internally, on your own or with your partner, and almost all work better with a little lubricant. If you already know what you want, filter by material, brand or price.

Types of sex toys

Each type has its own page, with more detail and its own filters.

• Vibrators: they stimulate through vibration, externally on the clitoris or internally on the G-spot; there are rabbit vibrators, bullet vibrators, wands and vibrating eggs with a remote.
• Dildos: they don't vibrate; they're used for vaginal or anal penetration and come in realistic or smooth designs, in silicone or glass.
• Anal toys: butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massagers; any that are inserted should have a flared base or a ring.
• Masturbators: they wrap around the penis; there are manual and automatic ones, with vibration, suction or movement.
• Cock rings: they fit around the base of the penis and may help maintain an erection; vibrating ones also stimulate your partner.
• Kegel balls: they're inserted into the vagina and move with your body; many people use them to exercise the pelvic floor.
• Sex dolls: sex dolls for solo use.
• Penis extenders: sleeves and extensions that go over the penis to add length or girth.
• Strap-on harnesses: they hold a dildo at the hips so you can penetrate hands-free; there are also hollow models for men.
• Erotic kits: several toys in one box, handy for trying different types or for giving as a gift.
• Sex toys for couples: designed for two, such as remote-controlled vibrators or ones worn during penetration.
• Sex machines: motorised machines that move a dildo continuously.

What the research says

Using toys is more common than many people think. In a survey of 1,723 people, 52% said they used them in sex with a partner and 45% when alone (Döring et al., 2020, J Sex Res). Among 2,056 women aged 18 to 60, 52.5% had used a vibrator at some point (Herbenick et al., 2009, J Sex Med).

They are common among men too: in a survey of 25,294 gay and bisexual men, 78.5% had used at least one type of toy, mostly dildos (62.1%), non-vibrating rings (51.9%) and vibrators (49.6%) (Rosenberger et al., 2012, Arch Sex Behav). These are surveys: they tell us how many people use toys, not what effect they have.

Care and safety

Wash the toy before and after use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, and leave it to air dry. Silicone, glass and metal are non-porous and can be cleaned thoroughly. TPE and TPR are softer but porous, and they don't clean as well. For anal use, only use toys with a flared base or a ring, and don't go from anal to vaginal use without washing the toy or changing the condom. If you share a toy, use a new condom for each person: in a study of 324 men with HIV who have sex with men, sharing toys was an independent risk factor for hepatitis C (Mata-Marín et al., 2022, PLoS One).

How to choose

• Area: decide whether you want it for the clitoris, vagina, anus or penis; each type is designed for one of them.
• Material: the product page says whether it's silicone, glass, metal, TPE or TPR; the first three are easier to clean.
• Size: the product page gives the insertable length and the diameter; to start with, it's better to go slimmer.
• Water: «fully waterproof (submersible)» is fine for the shower or bath; «water-resistant» or «splashproof» only withstands a little water.
• Power: USB rechargeable or battery-powered; if the product page gives the battery life, compare it.
• Control: buttons, remote control or app; with a remote or app, your partner can control it.

Sex toys: frequently asked questions

Which sex toy should I buy if it's my first?

A small silicone one, such as a bullet vibrator or a clitoral vibrator. It's easy to use, cleans well and helps you find out what you like before trying something bigger.

What sex toys can two people use together?

Vibrating rings, vibrators with a remote or app, and vibrators worn during penetration. You'll find them all together in sex toys for couples.

Which lubricant should I use with a sex toy?

A water-based lubricant, which works with all materials. Silicone-based lubricant lasts longer but can damage silicone toys; use it with glass or metal.

What's the difference between a dildo and a vibrator?

A dildo doesn't vibrate: it's for penetration and you provide the movement. A vibrator has a motor and can be used externally, on the clitoris, or internally.

Can I boil a sex toy to clean it?

Only if it has no motor or battery and the product page allows it. Those with a motor should be washed with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner.

How do I store sex toys?

Clean, dry and each in its own pouch or bag, so they don't touch. TPE or TPR toys are softer and can stain or lose their shape if they rub against others.

Are sex toys only for women?

No. There are masturbators, rings and prostate massagers designed for men, and many toys are used by couples.

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