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BDSM

BDSM brings together restraint, control, sensation and impact play, and here you will find the equipment to try it with a partner: cuffs, blindfolds, gags, whips, collars and nipple clamps. To start, choose something soft that releases instantly, such as Velcro cuffs, and build up the intensity gradually.

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What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism, but you don't have to do it all to enjoy it. Most couples start with gentle power play: a blindfold, a pair of fabric cuffs, a "you're in charge tonight". This is one of the most complete sections in the shop and runs from the gentlest to the most advanced. If you are looking for cards or challenges, you will find them in sex games.

Types of BDSM products

Each type has its own section:

BDSM by experience level

For beginners: satin blindfolds (taking away sight heightens touch), Velcro cuffs, which open instantly, feathers for gentle stimulation, and dice to let chance decide who is in charge. At an intermediate level: silicone gags, flexible leather whips, restraint bands and BDSM massage candles. For those with experience: swings, electrostimulation, bondage systems with anchor points, cages and spreader bars.

Reference brands include Fetish Fantasy, the most complete for accessories; Fifty Shades of Grey, upmarket with careful presentation; and Bondage Boutique and Ouch, which offer good value for money.

What the studies say

In a representative sample of 1,027 people in Belgium, 46.8% had taken part in some BDSM activity and another 22% had fantasised about it (Holvoet et al., 2017, J Sex Med). In Australia, in a representative sample of 19,307 people, those who had practised BDSM were no more likely than the rest to have experienced sexual coercion or to feel unhappy or anxious (Richters et al., 2008, J Sex Med). And in an anonymous survey of 470 people in the UK with interests such as BDSM, relationship satisfaction was associated with sharing them with a partner (Brown et al., 2026, J Sex Res).

Safety and care

Before you start, talk about what you both want and what you don't, and agree a safe word. With restraints, make sure a finger fits between the restraint and the skin. Release straight away if hands go numb or change colour, never leave a tied-up person alone and keep a quick way to free them within reach (the key, if there is a padlock). Don't tie or squeeze anything around the neck: a collar is worn loose and never pulled hard. Use electrostimulation only with devices made for it and keep it away from the chest. Leather is cleaned with a damp cloth and left to air dry; silicone and metal with warm water and mild soap.

How to choose

  • Material: leather, silicone, metal, nylon or polyester; if you have sensitive skin, look for padded or fabric linings.
  • Fastening: Velcro and buckles release quickly; metal fastenings and padlocks are better once you both have some practice.
  • Size: for cuffs and collars, the product page gives the adjustable circumference; check it with a tape measure first.
  • Intensity: for clamps, whips and paddles, look for adjustable pressure or flexible materials so you can start gently.
  • Water: for anything with a motor or battery, such as vibrating butt plugs or electrostimulation, fully waterproof (submersible) can take a rinse under the tap; splashproof only withstands a little moisture.

BDSM: frequently asked questions

Is BDSM safe?

Yes, if it is consensual (both people want it), communicated (you talk before, during and after) and reversible (you can stop at any moment with a safe word). Without those three things, it is abuse.

What is a safe word?

A word agreed beforehand that stops everything immediately when said, and that you would never say during sex. The most common is "traffic light": amber to ease off the intensity, red to stop.

What if one of you is wearing a gag?

Swap the word for a physical signal, such as dropping an object you are holding in your hand.

Where do you start with BDSM as a couple?

With a blindfold and a pair of fabric cuffs. Take away your partner's sight and trace their body with different textures: ice, a feather, silk, your breath. You don't need previous experience or expensive equipment.

What comes in a starter BDSM kit?

A basic kit usually has 5 to 7 pieces: blindfold, cuffs, feather, dice and candle. Swings and electrostimulation are for later.

Cuffs or rope for bondage?

Cuffs, if you are just starting: they go on and come off in a moment. Rope requires knowing how to tie knots that release quickly.

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