Handcuffs
Erotic handcuffs hold wrists or ankles for couples who like to tie and be tied. They range from velvet restraints suitable for beginners to metal handcuffs with a key. To choose, think about your experience: fabric to start, leather to progress, and at first a fastening that opens without a key.
What are erotic handcuffs?
They are two cuffs joined by a chain, a ring or a strap that hold the wrists or ankles during sex. They are used for power play: one person is restrained and the other sets the pace. They are the best-selling BDSM accessory and the most common way into this kind of play. Unlike police handcuffs, erotic handcuffs are designed specifically to be safe during sex play: many have padding, quick-release fastenings and adjustable sizing. If you want a set that includes a collar, blindfold or gag, you will find it in BDSM kits, and separate collars are in collars and leashes.
Types of handcuffs and cuffs
They range from plush handcuffs, which are decorative and open instantly, to genuine leather restraints with a padlock and full bondage systems with a spreader bar. The most practical way to sort them is by experience level and by material.
- Beginner: Velcro or fabric handcuffs with a safety fastening that opens when you pull, so there is no risk of being stuck. They are comfortable, safe and affordable.
- Intermediate: Metal handcuffs with a key, leather handcuffs with a buckle, and padded wrist or ankle cuffs, many with a neoprene lining. Leather, stylish and adjustable, is the middle option, and vegan leather is available too.
- Advanced: Complete restraint systems that join wrists, ankles and a spreader bar, hog-tie restraints, bondage rope for shibari and suspension cuffs with reinforced padding.
- Metal: The classic, firm and always with a key, padlock or combination lock. There are stainless steel chain models and metal mesh ones.
- Silicone: Hypoallergenic and easy to clean. Those with a clip fastening open by pressing, without a key.
- Bondage rope and tape: Hemp rope is the one used in shibari and requires knowledge of knots; bondage tape is for tying without complicated knots.
What the studies say
These studies are about BDSM in general, not about handcuffs specifically, but they give some context. In a representative sample of 1,027 people in Belgium, 46.8% had practised some BDSM activity and a further 22% had fantasised about it (Holvoet et al., 2017, J Sex Med).
In another representative sample of 19,307 people in Australia, those who practised BDSM were no more likely to have experienced sexual coercion, and were not significantly less happy or more anxious than the rest (Richters et al., 2008, J Sex Med). And in an anonymous survey of 470 people in the United Kingdom with interests such as BDSM, relationship satisfaction was associated with sharing those interests with a partner (Brown et al., 2026, J Sex Res).
Safety and care
Talk beforehand about what you do and do not want, and never leave the tied person alone. If they feel tingling or cold, or their hand changes colour, take the handcuff off straight away. Handcuffs go on wrists and ankles, never around the neck, and body weight should not hang from the wrists.
To clean them, fabric, neoprene or silicone handcuffs can take warm water and mild soap; leather is best wiped with a damp cloth and left to air dry, without soaking. Dry metal ones well so that the locks and chains do not seize up.
How to choose
- Fastening: Velcro, clip or buckle open without a key; a key, padlock or combination lock gives a stronger feeling of being held, but you need to keep it to hand.
- Material: Leather, vegan leather, neoprene, nylon, silicone or metal; the product page says which each model uses.
- Lining: If it says padded or neoprene, the handcuff spreads pressure better and is comfortable for longer.
- Size: Check the adjustable circumference and the width of the cuff (for example, 20 to 30 cm circumference and 6 cm wide) and compare it with your wrist or ankle.
- Fit: Some harnesses and restraints come in a Plus Size version; check the name or description.
- What is included: Wrist cuffs only, or also ankle cuffs, a spreader bar, bed straps or a door anchor.
Handcuffs: frequently asked questions
Are sex handcuffs safe?
Yes, with precautions: always keep the key within reach or choose handcuffs with a safety mechanism, do not tighten too much (you should be able to fit a finger between the handcuff and the skin) and agree a safe word before you start. If you use wrist restraints, keep safety scissors nearby in case you need to cut them off quickly.
Which handcuffs should I buy for the first time?
Fabric ones with Velcro or silicone ones with a clip fastening. They open by pulling or pressing, without a key. They are comfortable, they do not leave marks if you do not tighten too much, and they remove the worry of "what if I can't open them?".
Can I use real police handcuffs?
We do not recommend it. They are designed to restrain, not for play: they have no padding, they can cause wrist injuries and, if you lose the key, you need a locksmith.
What do I do if I lose the key?
If they are leather, fabric or neoprene, cut the strap with safety scissors. With metal ones there is no shortcut: you need the key or a locksmith, so before you close them leave the key in plain sight.
Do handcuffs leave marks?
They can, if you tighten too much. Fabric and padded ones do not usually leave them; unlined metal rubs more, especially if the wearer pulls on them.
Can they be attached to the bed or a door?
Yes. There are restraint sets with straps that go under the mattress and handcuffs with a door anchor, which need no headboard or bars.
Leather or neoprene handcuffs?
To start, neoprene: it is soft, adjusts with Velcro or a buckle and is easy to wash. Leather takes more tension and is the middle option if you already know what you like.
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