Strap-Ons & Harnesses

What are strap-ons and harnesses?

A strap-on harness (or strap-on) is a set of straps or a pair of briefs with a ring at the front that holds a dildo. It lets you penetrate with your hands free, moving your hips. It is used by a woman to penetrate a man (pegging) or another woman, by a man who wants to add a second penis, or by anyone who wants to penetrate without relying on an erection. It is an inclusive toy for couples of any configuration. Some come with the dildo included and others take any compatible dildo from dildos, as long as it has a flat base that is wider than the ring.

Types of strap-on harnesses

Harnesses range from nylon to leather, via neoprene and faux leather, and almost all have adjustable straps: the Fetish Fantasy Stay-Put, for example, goes up to a 107 cm waist and a 76 cm thigh. The stretchy fabric boxer or brief types, such as the Sportsheets EmEx and Contour or the CalExotics boxer, are not adjustable and are chosen by size, and neither are the strapless ones, like the Toyjoy double. What changes from one model to another is how it fits and what the dildo does.

• Waist: the most common and the most stable. The straps go around the waist and pass through the groin or between the buttocks, like a thong or a jockstrap.
• Thigh: the dildo is fixed to one leg. It allows different positions and leaves the pelvis free.
• Hollow: the dildo is empty inside and goes over the penis, to add girth or length or to use it without an erection.
• Double: one dildo facing out and another facing in, so the wearer also feels the penetration. There are also models with two dildos facing out for double penetration.
• Vibrating: they have a motor or a bullet in the base, sometimes with a remote or a rechargeable battery, and the wearer can feel the vibration too.
• Strapless: one part goes inside the wearer's vagina and is held in place by the pelvic floor. It takes a little practice.
• Accessories: suction-cup platforms for suction-base dildos, such as the Pipedream Body Dock, which take suction cups up to 8.6 cm in diameter, and kits with interchangeable bullets in several sizes, such as the CalExotics Boundless.

Pegging and use as a couple

In pegging, she penetrates her partner anally with the strap-on. For him, the interest lies in the prostate, which can be felt through the front wall of the rectum and responds to the pressure of the dildo. For the first few times, a slim dildo with a rounded tip is best, with plenty of anal lubricant, letting the person receiving set the pace. For couples of women, vibrating and double harnesses mean the person penetrating feels something too.

Safety and cleaning

Wash the dildo before and after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. Silicone cleans well; TPR and TPE are more porous, so if you are going to share the dildo or move it from anal to vaginal use, put a new condom on it each time. In a study of 235 men who have sex with men seen at a clinic, using sex toys was associated, among other practices, with more sexually transmitted infections (Rice et al., 2016, J Sex Med). Straps are washed according to their material: check the product page, and leather is best wiped with a damp cloth and left to air dry.

How to choose

• Fit: waist if you want stability, thigh to vary positions and strapless if the wearer wants to feel it inside too.
• Fixed or interchangeable dildo: with a ring you can swap the dildo; check the diameter of the ring and that the base of the dildo is flat and wider.
• Size: the product page gives the insertable length and the diameter; to start with, or for pegging, something slim is best.
• Dildo material: silicone if you will use it often or share it, because it cleans better than TPR or TPE.
• Straps: nylon, neoprene, leather or faux leather; check the material and the maximum waist size they adjust to.
• Vibration and water: if it vibrates, check whether it is rechargeable, whether it comes with a remote and whether it is fully waterproof (submersible) or only splashproof.

Strap-Ons & Harnesses: frequently asked questions

Is pegging (a woman penetrating a man) common?

More and more: searches for “pegging” have tripled in the last 5 years. It allows the man's prostate to be stimulated during penetration, which can produce intense and qualitatively different orgasms. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation: it is anatomy.

Which harness and dildo should I buy for the first time?

A kit that includes both: a waist harness with adjustable straps and a 14-16 cm silicone dildo, with a flat base that fits the ring. Brands such as Sportsheets and Fetish Fantasy have complete kits. If it is for pegging, start with the slimmest diameter you can find.

Which strap-on harness suits a couple of women and also vibrates?

One with a built-in vibrator or a double one, with one dildo facing out and another facing in for the wearer. If you would rather skip the harness, double dildos have two ends and are used without straps, and in lesbian toys you will find more options. For a moderate size, look at the insertable length and the diameter on the product page, when the manufacturer publishes them.

Can I put a realistic dildo in a harness?

Yes, if the harness has a ring to swap the dildo and the dildo has a flat base wider than the ring, so it cannot slip through. Harnesses with a fixed dildo do not let you change it. If you are looking for a specific size, for example around 12 cm, compare the insertable length on the product page; you will find plenty in realistic dildos.

Is there a strap-on for men?

Yes. Hollow harnesses go over the penis to add girth or to be used without an erection, and any waist harness with adjustable straps works for a man to wear. If he is the one receiving, in pegging what matters is the dildo: slim and with plenty of lubricant.

Which lubricant should I use with a strap-on?

A water-based lubricant if the dildo is silicone; silicone-based ones can damage its surface. For pegging or anal sex, an anal lubricant is better, as it is usually thicker and lasts longer, but also water-based if the dildo is silicone.

Does the harness fit any size?

Those with adjustable straps fit most bodies, but within a range. Check the maximum waist or thigh measurement on the product page; if it is not listed, ask before you buy.

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